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~folkensan69

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have you ever...?

Wed Aug 29, 2007, 11:09 PM
I am sure you have...when someone looses their closest companion they ALWAYS feel like they lose a soul mate. I have never been so lonely before. I just wish the pain would go away...and I am writing this here because everyone else has read everything before and just tells me I need to get over it. I Gave him my whole heart and didn't even realize it until he tore it to shreds. I know...same old sob story. I am just taking this version of it particularly hard. All I want to do is touch him. And he wants nothing to do with me. He wants someone better, hotter, smarter...It always makes me feel as if I can never be good enough for anyone again.
He made me strong for him...I did so much for him and he kicked me out of his apartment, and threw me back into the put of a home my mother lives in, which my sister moved back into...so now...it's like high school all over again and I hate it. I want to tell myself it's a dream, wake up next to him in our home and tell him what and awful dream I had.

I think I should just disappear for a while. I don't know if it would help, but I think at least I'll forget about him eventually.

I just want this pain to go away.

4 Comments
  • Mood:
  • Listening to: the refrigerator. humming.
  • Reading: Lust lizard of melancholy grove
  • Watching: ummmm....nothing.
  • Playing: . only two hands.
  • Eating: was eating my homemade lasagna earlier.
  • Drinking: delicious homemade iced tea.

Devious Comments

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:iconbunniangel:
=bunniangel Aug 30, 2007, 8:42:45 AM
be strong...i know that isnt what you want to hear but i've been where you've been, and i want to tell you that the sun will shine again and the rain will die to the rainbow...

You're beautiful... and there is someone out there that will appreciate just that.

--
† I believe in Jesus Christ my Savior. If you do too and aren\'t scared to admit it then copy and paste this in your signature †

Nurse at *ArtistsHospital
:icondragonfire6787:
~dragonfire6787 Aug 30, 2007, 12:43:16 PM
D'aw, I'm so sorry! Don't worry, there are better people and better things out there, and you deserve the appreciation.
Guh, I sound so utterly unhelpful, but I suppose what I'm trying to say is, this hurt and anger will go away. I promise.
:iconsilverpeachblossom:
~SilverPeachBlossom Aug 30, 2007, 5:00:18 PM
I'm really sorry. I don't think he ended things because he's unhappy with you as a person; the reason I overheard when he was talking to my mum about it was that he wants to see how it feels being young and available . . . and he's probably like me in that he's undersensitive to other people's feelings towards him, so he might not realize how much it hurts you and how hard it is being back in your mother's house.

I hope you can feel better soon. This is really not meant to sound bad or anything, but I've found that it just hurts more if you label yourself as 'good enough' or not for someone else. There are people who won't appreciate you and people who will, but that doesn't determine your worth.

Buh, I sound so cheesy. Anyway, I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, and I hope you feel better, soon.

--
Doubt'll be the fire of your delight, but you're never gonna come back down.
:iconfolkensan69:
~folkensan69 Aug 30, 2007, 7:36:52 PM
it's alright. I understand all the reasons he did. but he wanted to try and get with sahar. He did this before to try and dump me for nicci, too. we got back together then because he realized I was forgiving enough to overlook the REALLY underhanded and sneaky attempt to try and get another girl. But this time, he just wants to set me aside, save me for later if no one else comes and yes, see if anyone else is available. I know it wasn't because he was UNHAPPY with me, necessarily, but it really does make me feel like a piece of shit to be set aside for the chance for another girl.

he tells me I need to be strong, and he tells me all of this stuff, but you are right He REALLY doesn't know how much all of this has really hurt me...
the whole situation blows...anyway, I do understand everything...it doesn't make it any better...

--
Shouldn't you be off bringing religiousity to all the fuzzie wuzzies or something?
-Mal Reynolds
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